Society’s Expectations of Love Are Ridiculous
In this time of over sharing on social media, and the pressure to have a "Perfect Life" we are all falling prey to the idea that everything in life is about how big, how much, how long, and how often amazing things are happening in our lives. This creates an environment rich in unhealthy comparisons. It creates a set of expectations that is virtually impossible to keep up with or even meet at times.
Recently I read some facts about Valentine’s Day. It is no longer acceptable to simply get a card or flowers, or go out to eat on Valentine’s Day. In 2021, an estimated $21.8 Billion dollars will be spent on gifts in the United States with U.S. with the average person spending about $165.00 with men spending twice as much as women will. $9.5 Billion dollars will be spent on unwanted gifts. 34 % of people expect to receive a gift that costs at least $50.00. 53% of surveyed women said they would break up with their significant other if he forgot Valentine’s Day.
Those last two facts blew my mind. I just can’t even imagine feeling this way. There is no way I would ever expect a gift of a certain amount and I most certainly would never break up with someone if they forgot Valentine’s Day.
My Husband the “Stoic Ass”
My husband is a logical problem solver. He is the "fixer" in our family. If you have a problem, he is the guy you turn to for help figuring out a solution. He has this uncanny gift to channel infinite wisdom from the universe and present it to you as if it was the simplest thing.
I was struggling with how to write about how he could be perceived as not being a romantic kind of guy. Every time I would write a sentence, I thought that my sentences didn’t grasp the full picture of what I wanted to say, but instead presented him as some kind of stoic ass. I typed, deleted, typed, and deleted a number of sentences never finding the ‘right’ way to present his romantic ways.
I approached him and asked if he could help me figure out a way to present him in words. He stopped what he was doing, which just happened to be making dinner, listened to what my problem was, and then said, "Yeah, well, honestly that's who I am." We laughed and I gained his approval to use the term ‘Stoic ass’ to define his beliefs on gestures of love and romance. Yes friends, he is a stoic ass, but he is My stoic ass.
All kidding aside though, my husband is a very loving person and I know he loves me even if we don’t have a social media worthy Valentine’s Day. He doesn’t need a day on a calendar to remind him to show me how much he loves me. He does that all the time. It’s in the small things.
It’s in the way he lets me sleep in after rough nights with our son, and makes sure there is fresh coffee waiting when I wake up. He does the things I hate to do like put the clean clothes away. He makes sure that we are all taken care of and have all the things we need and some of the things we want. There is no gift; no jewelry, no flowers, no chocolates that can compare to the things this man does on an everyday basis from his heart.
Real Love Is All About the Little Things
All over the internet you can see examples of how the little things in life show real love. Here are just some examples that I have read that touched my heart:
“He always kisses me first thing when he walks in.”
“She allows me to be me with all my strange goofy ways.”
"My husband changed jobs to be able to stay home with the kids so I could pursue my education.”
“I was close to filing bankruptcy. She helped me fix my finances and didn’t judge me for it.”
“He let me get the dog.”
“She always puts a love note in with my lunch.”
“I work overnights and she would wake up and bring me hot food.”
“I have a huge scar on my neck from cancer treatments and I am a bit self-conscious about it. I was looking for a necklace to cover it when my significant other took it out of my hands and said ‘from the moment I met you, I knew you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. That scar is a reminder of how strong, amazing and beautiful you are. Never hide that.”
“He puts down what he is doing and gives me his undivided attention when I need it.”
What are some of the small things that someone has done for you or you have done for someone that shows your love?